A Totally Reasonable and Not At All Overdramatic Fix

There are plenty of important things to do to get the shantyboat ready for the river. But today? Today is about comfort. Specifically, preventing the captain from thrashing their hand on jagged metal one more time.

So instead of working on, say, navigation or rigging, we’ve formed a shantyboat sewing circle, painstakingly whip-stitching 320 feet of paracord onto our wire shelf keepers. Because, you see, Dotty is not just a boat—she is a well-stocked floating manor, with nearly 50 feet of shelving that, up until now, has demanded occasional blood sacrifices.

Is this our most pressing problem? Probably not. Is it happening anyway? You bet.